This is harder than it looks!

Okay, you know what I hate about writing? Every time I write some thing, I have a hundred different reasons why I shouldn't say what I am trying to say or that I should say it differently, and most of the time, I end up saying, "screw it! I didn't really need to say it anyway." So here's the thing. I'm going to just say it and if it comes out wrong, oh well, who's really going to read this anyway?

So here's what's on my mind today:

I tend to have anti-establishment tendencies. At times to the dismay of my very proper parents, I just think that if you're not questioning things, then how do you really know what you believe about stuff. As a child, I was so concerned with being 'good' and trying to not get into trouble, that I was sure that questioning things was 'bad'.

Not so much now. I've fought long and hard to get rid of 'right and wrong' thinking, 'good and bad' thinking, in order to replace these things with questions such as "what is most helpful?" or "does this build relationship or break down relationship?". I am much more interested in getting to know who people really are than in labeling them, or putting people in little boxes that never fit.


I have noticed that most people tend to build connections based on common ground or mutual interests, some kind of similarity. While I'm sure I do this to some degree, I actually seek out people who are different from me. I enjoy differences. I am fascinated by the differences in people.

On a different note, I am also fascinated by how ticklish my kids are, especially my oldest and how a child can be writhing with what has to be uncomfortable and yet laughing so hard he can hardly breathe. How they ran away when I threaten to tickle them, but still seem more settled and at peace after being tormented for a few minutes. Speaking as someone who has never been ticklish, this is a constant source of wonder. Ahhh, the little things in life.